Sorry for the neglect....

five things I'm grateful for
1. Theology studying
2. History Studying
3. Flash Cards
4. double paged notes.
5. Tests in theology and history on the same day that I need to study for.

Sorry for my lack of a blog yesterday I wrote about Kristy and it was extremely draining. AFter I wrote it I read my scriptures and collapsed in my bed. Sorry.

I'll post what I wrote.

Have you ever had the feeling that your heart was in your stomach? Have you ever had the feeling that your insides were scrambled? Have you ever felt the pain of death? Have you ever learned to truly appreciate this fragile thing we call life? I have.
As I sat on the yellow leather couch wrapped in my colcha de tigre—enjoying just another post-hockey-game-victory-celebration-movie night with Dad—wishing I was out sledding with my friends. I felt the feeling. When I asked to go out Dad did not say no. Dad simply said, “You hurt your shoulder tonight and you know if you go out with your friends you’ll probably make it worse. You’ve got some big games coming up James but it is your call, you know what you are doing.” As I sat there wishing I had not made the “right” call, I felt the buzz buzz vibration of my phone—text message received, and I felt the feeling.
I unlocked my phone and read the text from Melissa, “James, Kristy hit head sledding.” Every part of me wanted to say that everything was okay but the feeling was too powerful. I knew that everything was far from okay. I replied, “How bad is it?” Almost immediately Melissa’s response came, “They don’t think she’s going to make it.” My love hate relationship with Kristy instantaneously came to mind.
Kristy and I had one of the most complicated love hate relationships of all time. It started back in ninth grade when she dated my friend Nick. For some reason or another while they dated, we were sworn enemies. We both had extremely strong personalities that clashed quite well. During our sophomore year our mutual friends became one group and put us in the same circle of friends, we even more time together because of our mutual best friend—Melissa. Because of this time together, Kristy realized I wasn’t all that bad and fell for me. I wasn’t there to catch her as she fell, nor did I fall for her. I remembered the previous year and had some difficulties letting the past be the past. I made it more than clear that I did not like her that way and that I had a hard enough time being a friend to her at all. Near the end of the year things started change. Kristy started falling for a boy Connor and I realized that the past was the past and that I needed to move on. Junior year was a fantastic year for our friendship. Nearly every weekend was spent in each other’s company. We would joke together and our strong personalities seemed to highlight each others sarcasm and humor, which made for many epic nights filled with laughter and love among friends.
December 2, 2007 at around three in the morning. I lost an angel in my life. How could it be that I had hung out with her the night before, how could it be that I was supposed to be with her that night, how could she be gone? How could I have lost one of my best friends? How could Kristy be gone?
To this day it seems unreal. To this day I want to convince myself that it never happened and that Kristy is only a phone call away. This unfortunately is not the case. On that night I lost someone I love. I have learned from this tragedy. I now live every day as if it is my last. I live and try to avoid judging others. I live and now believe in giving more that one chance. I live and believe in the power to change. I live and try to live optimistically. I live and try to make everyday epic. I live and try to be a little more like Kristy. I live and I try. I live and I love.


I love you all, goodbye.
Mi amor a todos, adios.
אני אוהב אותך כל, סלאמאת.